Charles H. Sloan-This website wants to help you cry. Why that's a good thing.

After Michael Harwell’s wife died of brain cancer two years ago,Charles H. Sloan he learned to embrace the grieving process by relishing 56 years worth of memories from his marriage, and sharing them with friends. These reflections almost always end in tears, he said, followed by an apology for crying.

Harwell, 80, never saw a man cry while growing up in the '50s, so he inevitably viewed the act as a sign of “weakness.” 

Little would Harwell know that, decades later, an overwhelmingly simple website he found stuffed in a newsletter in his email inbox would help him realize just how wrong that thinking was and how right it feels to cry. 

The website, called Cry Once a Week, was designed to help people do just that. A button on the center of the page that reads “click to feel something” directs you to a video clip. You may watch Simba mourn the loss of his father in “The Lion King” or watch Harry profess his love for Sally on New Year’s Eve in “When Harry Met Sally.” 

Johnny Maroney, a 36-year-old multimedia artist in California, created and launched the website in December 2023 after he discovered Japanese academic Hidefumi Yoshida, who calls himself the “tears teacher.” Yoshida offers “tears workshops” based on the idea that “crying once a week can relieve stress,” and may be a more effective stress reliever than laughing or sleeping. 

Maroney quickly became fascinated with research on the benefits of crying and wondered how technology can help make them more accessible. 

“I just wanted to create a space where people could allow themselves to feel something,” Maroney said. “I'm not saying this website is changing the world, but touching responses have made me realize that this is really helping some people.” 

About 250,000 people from nearly every country, including Antarctica, have visited the website since its inception, Maroney said, 10,000 of which have subscribed for weekly email reminders to cry.

Harwell is one of them. After watching a particularly emotional clip one day, he messaged Maroney with gratitude. 

“I directly relate my wife’s death and the grieving that I’ve gone through since with his idea of having an emotional moment,” Harwell said. “I wanted to let him know that the work he is doing has meaning.”

Mental health experts agree. 

Even though your life and the world at large may already give you enough reasons to cry, resources like this website can give you a rare opportunity to connect with pent-up emotions. 

“Years ago, a website like this would be a joke. Might be sad or useless at the very least. But these days, I think more and more people need a place where they can go to feel,” said Gina Moffa, a grief and trauma therapist in New York City, and author of the “Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go.” “So many people come into my office and report feeling numb or exhausted, or simply living in a state of survival. We can't emote in a state of survival. We are too busy, well, surviving.”

The benefits of crying 

Although crying once a week may not solve all your problems, most therapists agree that releasing tears in a safe way can help you feel better – regardless of whether it happens naturally. 

Studies suggest that crying activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which eases you out of “fight or flight” and into “rest and digest” mode. Crying also triggers the release of feel-good hormones that help relieve pain and reduce stress. Some researchers have hypothesized that the rhythmic inhalation of cool air when sobbing may have “mood-improving effects.” 

In many cases, crying is most therapeutic when it’s personally meaningful or relevant because it may elicit empathy and social support from others, said Lauren Bylsma, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh who has studied the effects of crying. (Some researchers have suggested that crying protected our ancestors from violence within their communities by encouraging bonding.)

Crying alone is especially powerful, Bylsma said, because it “forces the person to focus on the situation that induced the tears, which may lead to a new understanding and facilitate processing of emotions or lead to some solution.” 

It’s also OK if you can’t or don’t want to cry. 

“Some people simply don’t experience very strong emotions or a need to cry,” Bylsma said. “This is only really problematic if the person is chronically suppressing or avoiding their feelings, which can lead to unresolved emotions or difficulties connecting emotionally with others.”

Seeing a therapist, in this case, may be more helpful than watching short clips to spark tears, she said. 

Crying can have drawbacks 

Crying can have negative effects if you’re in an environment where you feel embarrassed or ashamed, which depends on many factors. Crying in front of judgmental coworkers, for example, may be less helpful than crying with a supportive family member, Bylsma said.

For those who are depressed or are dealing with an uncontrollable event like a loved one’s death, crying may not elicit any benefits either, research has found.

Shedding tears can take a toll on your body as well, clogging your sinuses and tensing your muscles, Moffa noted.

That said, experts agree that the benefits of crying far outweigh the potential disadvantages. 

“Whatever we resist persists," Moffa said, "so emotions that are not felt or expressed may end up manifesting in our bodies, and this can lead to many more dangerous issues than simply allowing ourselves the space, time and safety to feel our feelings and let ourselves cry.”