Current:Home > Finance'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds. -GrowthInsight
'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.
View
Date:2025-04-11 14:35:51
Former NFL star Michael Oher has sued the family that took him in, alleging they never legally adopted him and only sought to profit at his expense.
The legal fallout from his petition, filed in Tennessee court Monday, is still ongoing; however, many know the pain of getting betrayed, disowned or otherwise hurt by their so-called family − and mental health experts say these wounds can run deep.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, previously told USA TODAY, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement can put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The wounds of family pain run deep
Taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy while experiencing poverty and navigating the foster care system, Oher became a first-round draft pick after attending the Tuohys alma mater, Ole Miss. His life story was made into the 2009 blockbuster movie "The Blind Side" after the 2006 Michael Lewis book of the same name.
In his petition Monday, Oher alleged the Tuohy family deceived him of his legal family status and exploited his life for financial gain. He requested they stop using his name and likeness in addition to back pay for any money he may be owed.
He also said he discovered he was never legally adopted six months ago and called the situation "painful." (The Tuohy family is calling Oher’s claims of deceit "outlandish" and "transparently ridiculous," while also alleging this is not the former football player's first attempt to bring legal action against them.)
More:'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher's blockbuster lawsuit against Tuohy family explained
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III previously told USA TODAY the pain brought on by family wounds is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he said. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is also a core part of one's identity. When someone is hurt by a family member or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole said. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Rejection by one's family can also lead someone to question if something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole added, a self-doubt that can impact the other relationships that person has throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she said. "You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Michael Oher alleges 'Blind Side' family deceived him into conservatorship for financial gain
My family hurt me. What should I do?
If you're struggling with a family fracture or pain as the result of family, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano said. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole said.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger previously told USA TODAY. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she said.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stressed the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
More:Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
Contributing: Chris Bumbaca, USA TODAY; Jason Munz, Memphis Commercial Appeal
veryGood! (77563)
Related
- Global Warming Set the Stage for Los Angeles Fires
- 10 Cooling Must-Haves You Need if It’s Too Hot for You To Fall Asleep
- Federal appeals court preserves access to abortion drug but with tighter rules
- Transcript: Sen. Richard Blumenthal on Face the Nation, June 18, 2023
- A White House order claims to end 'censorship.' What does that mean?
- Arctic National Wildlife Refuge Faces New Drilling Risk from Congress
- A smart move on tax day: Sign up for health insurance using your state's tax forms
- Ticks! Ick! The latest science on the red meat allergy caused by some tick bites
- Elon Musk's skyrocketing net worth: He's the first person with over $400 billion
- Don’t Miss This $65 Deal on $142 Worth of Peter Thomas Roth Anti-Aging Skincare Products
Ranking
- Average rate on 30
- California restaurant used fake priest to get workers to confess sins, feds say
- How A New Majority On Wisconsin's Supreme Court Could Impact Reproductive Health
- Alaska Chokes on Wildfires as Heat Waves Dry Out the Arctic
- North Carolina trustees approve Bill Belichick’s deal ahead of introductory news conference
- Greening of Building Sector on Track to Deliver Trillions in Savings by 2030
- A Good Friday funeral in Texas. Baby Halo's parents had few choices in post-Roe Texas
- Mormon crickets plague parts of Nevada and Idaho: It just makes your skin crawl
Recommendation
McKinsey to pay $650 million after advising opioid maker on how to 'turbocharge' sales
Cher Celebrates 77th Birthday and Questions When She Will Feel Old
Jennifer Lawrence Showcases a Red Hot Look at 2023 Cannes Film Festival
How A New Majority On Wisconsin's Supreme Court Could Impact Reproductive Health
What do we know about the mysterious drones reported flying over New Jersey?
This Week in Clean Economy: NYC Takes the Red Tape Out of Building Green
Ticks! Ick! The latest science on the red meat allergy caused by some tick bites
Flood Risks from All Sides: Barry’s Triple Whammy in Louisiana